The Bible uses terms that are not a part of most people's vocabulary. Here is one example, Forsake: renounce or turn away from entirely, abandon, leave, or quiet. I hope and believe this reaches you right where you're at. If you want to be a Christian ( truly) there can't not many choices. Listen, Learn, and Apply.
Let go of the rudiments of this world and give Jesus a chance. Listen, Learn, and Apply!!!
There is a time in your life when you've for to make a true decision. Be real with yourself.